I moved to Manchester at 59 and made 80 new friends

Article guest written by Crusader resident Robert Liston for publication in The Times 10.06.23

Robert Liston’s friends warned him it was a risk moving to a new city later in life, but it’s the best thing he’s ever done.

When I was growing up we moved around a lot - my parents were with the RAF - so I never really had a base [says Robert Liston, 59]. Then I met my partner, Stuart, and we moved to Weybridge, Surrey, and stayed for 30 years. After Stuart died eight years ago, I lost interest in things and just worked very hard - I was a VIP liaison officer at Heathrow. I retired in 2017 and was just getting back on my feet when the pandemic came and shut everything down.

I found myself on my own in a two-bedroom flat in Weybridge, and totally isolated. I had plenty of friends but none of them lived nearby. When things started opening up, I thought: I'm never going through that again. I'm almost 60. I need a community where you can easily meet people and feel as if you belong.

Stuart and I had been going to Manchester for years for long weekends and I was always went up for a week and found an enormous choice of property. A lot of it was boxes in brand-new towers, but one day I stumbled across this old mill building that had been converted into flats: Crusader, by the developer Capital & Centric.

Outside it just looks like an old warehouse. But walk through the gates and suddenly you're inside this oasis. The duplex penthouse was available and as soon as I saw it Isaid: "I'm having it." The flat is open plan, with exposed brick walls, windows on both sides and two bedrooms. There's a south-facing private terrace with views towards the Pennines; the other side looks north over the city skyline.

It has massive windows. I've never seen anywhere so bright, even in the Manchester winters. I sold my flat in Weybridge for £520,000 and bought this one for £425,000 in October.

It's a five-minute walk to Manchester Piccadilly railway station, but where I am it's pretty residential. People say, "Oh my God, how could you move into the inner city?", as if there are riots here. Sometimes I lie in bed at night and can't believe how quiet it is: in Weybridge there was constant noise from aircraft from Heathrow and Gatwick; planes don't fly over Manchester city centre.

It's a nice little community with about 149 apartments. Normally it's difficult making friends when you're a single gay man. If you go to a bar or restaurant on your own people look at you wondering what's wrong with you. But in Manchester you cannot go anywhere, whether it's the shop or the bank, without adding at least 15 minutes to chat to people. It's just the way they are. If somebody says, "Can I take your number?" they do actually take your number and contact you. Down south I think most people take your number just to get rid of you.

The first few months were a struggle but I found a few social groups online just to test the water: singles over 45; gay men over 45; moving south to north. Once you get to know one or two people it snowballs. And that's what happened. In Weybridge I had five WhatsApp contacts on my phone; I've added 80 in the past six months.

Although it's a huge city, almost three million people, the centre is really small: you bump into people you know every day. There's so many opportunities to socialise. I've even joined a group that picks up litter once a month. You cannot avoid making friends, unless you really don't want to. Because I live next to Piccadilly Station there's a constant stream of people dropping in to see me. In Weybridge you had to plan weeks in advance to see friends. Here they'll just pop in, a bit like Coronation Street.

I go swimming every day. I walk half an hour up to the pool at Etihad Stadium. I also love roller-coasters. I spend a lot of time at Blackpool Pleasure Beach to the north of me, or else I go to Alton Towers to the south of me. I've got annual passes.

I walk everywhere but the tram is outside my door too. And it's so cheap: £2. The council tax is half what it was in Surrey. My home insurance is a third of what it was. In the city centre you have three bus routes that are free to anybody. And the centre is virtually traffic free: just trams and buses. It's like living in a central European city. There's a great mix of architecture, too.

I'm so happy here my parents, who are in their mid-eighties, have decided to move from Tewkesbury, in Gloucestershire, to Southport to be near me. Emotionally we're very close but it will be the first time we've lived this near to each other since I was 18.

My friends down south warned me it was such a risk moving to a new city later in life, but it's the best thing I've ever done. It's a whole new life.”